When In Doubt, Scream "Eureka"!

Greatest challenge of my life till date: Remaining sane despite all the physics lectures of class IX I attended. I used to walk into my class each day, hoping that eventually I would figure out what language my teacher speaks in. No such luck. I even used to cry ridiculously about it as it wasn't like me to "be unable to understand something".

The worst part was that everyone else in my class acted perfectly normal about it. Was my I.Q. actually that low? Or maybe everyone in the world had been struck by a "high intelligence" apocalypse and somehow I had survived. How lucky of me.

 The possibilities were many, but it took all my confidence to figure out the correct one. It was that I was the only one curious enough to have doubts. Not very modest of me, is it? But that is what came to my mind when I first checked out Khan Academy on the internet (after literally exhausting all other possibilities). 

I began hunting down answers for each question that arose in my mind and ended up making physics my favorite subject. Not only that, I also realized that my understanding of physics had become better than that of most of the others'. 

 I write this now, after 2 years since today morning I discovered that I was having some similar troubles with class XI mathematics. After going all bonkers for two hours about it, it occurred to me that it might just be my same old ridiculous habit of questioning too much. Because after all this, there is one thing I'm completely sure of: there is no such thing as a high-intelligence apocalypse or a sudden I.Q. drop. If I'm feeling segregated, its because of something extra I have, not others. 

Silhouettes

I know in the back of my mind

That silhouettes are deceptive 

Yet, I choose to be naive 

And let them amuse me with their cunning beauty.

They have this element of mystery 

Which, once left to my imagination 

Can become anything but the obvious

And the outline, the half truth, is the only clue I have.

Light looks good, only behind them 

Because I don't want reality 

To snap me out of this dreamy trance 

Where the only tyrant is my temptation.

But somehow, in the end
It is always the luminous curiosity
That takes over my free will
And finally exposes my beloved silhouettes.

Having your Prime Minister to answer your questions

Even the sound of it gives an impetus to the morals of a regular student. Unfortunately, my school didn't go in for the live session.

Nevertheless, it was lovely watching Mr. Modi address us, in general, as students.

Some of his answers were extremely inspiring. One could make out how closely he had observed life. For instance, how he explained the importance of both experience and education in one's life. There were moments when I would get goosebumps so strong that I would begin to feel like a porcupine who had just had an adrenaline rush. It was as if he was giving voice to the thoughts that had always existed in me. Not a word he spoke seemed to be made up. 

On the contrary, to compensate for the extempore qualities of our P.M., most of the students had to look conspicuously artificial. I mean, its nice that you know how to cram but at least don't look so robotic. Except for a few good ones, all other students rather sounded annoying. Being a good orator for them is mugging up a few lines and bringing arbitrary variations in their voice. Honestly, had I been given the opportunity, I would have done way much better. I know it is a little bit of jealousy on my part too but jokes apart, some of our robots seriously need divine intervention. 

I try to get creative with a stapler

Last week, my friends introduced me to the very interesting fact that I was the only one in the group who had not managed to staple her hand accidentally. My best friend gave me one of her most convincing intense looks along with a stapler and told me, ' you can do this.'  Of course she was kidding but my instincts knew better than that. The next thing I remember is that a pin had pierced its way through my thumb and I was struggling to get it out. In fact, I began to cry, out of laughter. Doing insane things like this has always come naturally to me. We spent the rest of the period giggling our heart out and even our teacher didn't seem to mind it. He had become used to us by then.
After the incident, I tried to make sense out of the whole thing. I realized that it was something completely aimless and yet made me happy.
Earlier my definition of happiness had been setting aims and conquering them.But this too, I realized was happiness. Well, some people might call it merely momentary but I know I'll laugh all the more hard every time I will remember it.
It led me to alter my definition of ever lasting happiness,i.e. ' living for the moment and arranging these moments such that they yield substantial results in the long run.'
P.S. I had already been injected with tetanus so it wasn't that serious an issue, but otherwise IT IS.  

The cutting edge

To give my best on my way
I abandon every flattering caress
Because as they say at the end of the day
Nothing succeeds like success.

I find myself in this nostalgic phase
Ironically, all the obstacles I jarred
Mock me back for no companion's trace
I had lost them while being on my guard.

However, I don't mind the solitude
My ambition did the best for me
I rather owe it gratitude
It filtered out fake intimacy.

The phenomenon of achieving re-occurs
Externally, I grow, internally, I wedge
After all,its all right to abrade the soft corners
To configure a cutting edge.  

What irks and motivates me

The other day I was leaving for a painting competition and asked dad to wish me luck. His very amusing and appropriate reply was, 'wish you an unbiased judgement.' Another day I announced at home that I had been selected for an essay writing contest. Then his reply was,' only to be subjected to subjectivity.' That's the story of my life...
Management has prescribed many theories of motivation in western school of thought. Paradoxically, our greatest scripture, the Bhagwat Gita advocates the detached theory of self-motivation, wherein, a person works without being attached to the fruits of that work. Gautama Buddha substantiated it by quoting that expectations are the only cause of grief in one's life.
The latter is more preferable in my scenario. Being attached to the aftereffects of my efforts would be like trying to look for excuses to disappoint myself. I mean, you would go out of your way to make an event successful only to learn that someone else is credited.
What then, could possibly motivate me? The answer is, the satisfaction of accomplishing the task. I don't see any way in which that can be hindered. Expecting anything more or anything at all from the people who judge me is folly.
All I can do though, is seek more objective platforms where my efforts are done justice to. One must leave the-putting-people-to-justice part to a power more supreme. So, of course, ignorance for outcome is bliss.
All you have to do is be happy by doing what makes you happy. Someone appreciates you, excellent; someone doesn't, you're still doing great.




         

Why do I hate exams?

Examinations are something, detested even by the brightest of all students.Though, they essentially are harmless,its only their consequences which we dread.
The bright inventor of exams only had an innocuous intention of assessing students. But the sands of time have perverted their purpose.
In fact, I've begun to find them almost cynical.Obtaining good marks has somehow christened itself to be an S.I. unit of intelligence.
However, studying for a test is a taboo in my world. Even the most boring novels would find a better merit than a textbook before an exam. Creating random, incoherent patterns on notebooks becomes very constructive at that moment.
Otherwise, on any regular day, I would remain preoccupied by anything but studies.
I would  go around doing eccentric things, which are my so called  physics' experiments. I would lock myself up in my study and solve problems, as my mom would say, for an eternity. I would badger everyone in the house with my queries.Finally they would admit that my mind is way too abstract to be understood by people from this planet.
But suddenly this change before exams?  After reflecting for some time I found out why it happens.
The philosophy of 'cramming and understanding' is one of the much discussed topics today. So, elaborating on it would be captioning the obvious. Fortunately, that is not the problem with me.
I don't know about anyone else but I do have a free will. And how far I have understood myself, I have a will to study for the sake of knowledge.
But when that knowledge is imposed, I feel as if my free will is being stimulated with. Hence, you may call it my animal instinct, I feel like resisting. As long as I am studying by choice, I'm cool. But as soon as I'm told to do it, well, you're in for the worst of my temperaments, let alone obedience.
I finally figured a way out of it, which is not so helpful for most people;  Pretend that the subject you are studying, is coincidentally and very luckily, the subject for which you have a test the next day. In fact, be surprised when the question paper is handed over to you. Then be happy because you know the answer to all the questions. Period.
So I infer that the solution to a problem sometimes lies in convincing yourself of a totally different sense of reality.

Know thy self

Distortion is the constant among all variables
when it comes to mind sets
a discrepancy among facts and fables,
through judgments, is all one gets.

Thus an ersatz self-image
is the one formed by other's influence,
it is the precedence of rage
and makes confidence lose its essence.

Self realization is everything's inception
but nothing's end as it can always enhance
otherwise mediation is the only exception
where its all right to be in a trance.

Being more than sure of what one is
and being in a sync with one's conscience,
is the realm of absolute bliss
and prevention from a futile presence.