I can judge. Because I am a JiNeEUs!

Most people, actually, everyone becomes prone to hypocrisy whenever it comes to judging. And I personally feel that 50 percent of the problems in this world originate from it. Nobody ever speaks in support of it but neither do we stop doing it. All we want is a judgement free life for us so that we can invite our friends over and have a nice chat about what an absolute loser the other person from our class is.

And the reason why we do this, I think, is because it makes us feel like a genius without making much efforts. Which would have been amazing, had we not been detonating someone's social image in the process.

There is never any kind of objectivity to judgement. No matter how right we feel we are, judging is always wrong. We can have a heated argument with them and let them know how wrong they are, but forming a permanent mind set about someone is too cruel. We have no idea, none whatsoever, what anyone's life is about! And so now, I have even stopped judging the people who judge. And honestly, you don't have to sacrifice the satisfaction you get after declaring someone to be a social disaster for it. Just let people be and talk about your favorite cartoon characters instead. They are actually much more fun things to talk about! The only time you are not doing something evil ( yes, it is out rightly evil for me) while talking about someone is actually appreciating them, for once. 

P.S. You can make an exception for Harry Potter haters though. Harry Potter is the universal truth. :')

All of my favorite people!

I've been feeling extreeeeemely grateful to some people lately and publishing it on the internet is the closest thing I can do to letting them know. Here it goes. Beginning with John Green. (there is no particular order in case you are wondering). I been fangirling over him ever since, you know, 'The Fault In Our Stars'.  And it was only later that I learned about his Youtube channel. (Please don't judge me). And that is when I realized how much more amazing he is than I thought. His videos are brimming with intellect. I really need to find synonyms for the word 'brimming'. They inspire me to be confident about whatever I think. All my ideas, which I earlier used to perceive as a jumbly wumbly mess of senselessness are actually priceless if I learn to express myself as freely as they do. Oh, the 'they' includes his brother, Hank Green of course. It feels so good to watch all these super-smart people ramble about their super smart ideas without taking themselves seriously, at all. Then we come to Sal Khan, of course.I need to stop using of course as well. He is the one who actually restored my faith in my smartness when the entire world made me feel like a freaking dodo bird. You might want to refer to 'When In Doubt, Scream Eureka'. He is the best!! And while digging into the depths of Khan Academy, I also came across the brilliant, stunning, fantastic, Vi Hart! Yayyyyy. Little did I know that my Mathematical life was going to change when I first saw her videos. She has actually combined two of my favorite things i.e. Math and music, together! Could life get any better? Well, I guess I said too early! Then comes Jon Cozart. I don't think any other youtuber has influenced my Fandom life as mush as he has. And that is saying a lot since the next people on my list are... Dan and Phil!Ooooooo. These guys make me feel so much better about all my awkwardness. And as a result of this overwhelming inspiration, I have decided to finally do something extremely impulsive and stupid I have have been planning for a year. I'll be starting a blog called 'The Physicist's Brain'. 

Seriously, no kidding. I have no idea how its gonna turn out but I'm going to do it anyways! I am reckless. Ha! Just  pray I don't end up becoming an evil scientist. :|

Why austerity feels better

I tended to diverge away to more "happy and fun" things in life whenever this topic used to turn up. Why would anyone even want to not feel anything? (Well, unless we are Spock). If we cannot feel anything, we might as well cease to exist. I think I can put up with a little bit of sadness for the sake of appreciating the good things that happen in my life.

But this is a huuuuge misconception! Austerity is lack of agitation, stimulation from the external. Not lack of feelings. And I realized this after .. umm.. a chain of events. Long story short. I was happy, then I was sad, then I was happy again, and then sad again and.. you get the idea. And when I say happy, I just mean agitated in a positive way. Which further means not being able to accept that your life is so good. 

So after a while even that happiness began to disturb me because I began to feel insecure about it.  

That is when I decided that something was terribly wrong with my life and I needed to fix it. 

But austerity? Seriously? Isn't that what the most boring people this planet follow? Not anymore! Since I am one of them now, and I refuse to be called boring. 

You don't have to take an exile from the world for that. You continue to do whatever that makes you happy and this time I don't mean agitated in a positive way. I mean really content with your life. (Like, I don't know, watching Star Trek). 

Just don't ever feel that you are doing better than you can probably expect from yourself. Outshining is your birthright. It is completely normal for you to do fantastic things. You deserve all the good things that are happening to you. You deserve the best. 

Choose what you think!

There are a thousand and one ways to make yourself feel completely miserable. Stress, anxiety, fear, competition etc etc. And you work hard to overcome these thoughts, usually, to only plunge deeper into the abyss. You start freaking out over why you can't control your emotions. Why you can't stay happy always. Why you cant choose what you think. WHY CANT EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD BE PERFECT?!
Well, that can be one approach, and I won't declare it to be wrong. Its just another approach. But does it make you feel any better? Nope.
But I don't wanna talk about how fundamentally wrong people's approach to their problems are. Mine are that way too.
I am simply writing this blog because I want to address my weaker half in second person. And that surely seems to be working well.
Well, the problem began when I started performing exceptionally well in my tests. (No I'm not trying to show off.) It had always been that way but the thing that was different this time was that it was in the midst of other exceptionally good students. So instead of treating it as something that was natural for me, I began to get awed by my own achievements. I began congratulating myself, extravagantly. And it was not overconfidence I was overcome by. No. It was self awe.
That thing it achieved a few years ago. Was it really me? Wow, I must have been quite intelligent. How had I managed to do that? Why had other people not bothered me then? Will I be able to maintain the standards I have set for myself? Will I be able to do it again? Was it sheer luck? 
And that is how I blew up my second test. For almost a month, I was in the gloom of what had happened when there was another test, and a surprise one this time. I didn't have time to reflect on how I was feeling emotionally or what my standards were. I simply attempted it like I would attempt every other test. Then, I performed well again.
So what I drew from this experience is that if my goals are external, like trying to beat others, I will end up in depression forever. But if they are aimed at making myself able, I am driven by creativity, not desperation. And as to how I can choose to think one way over the other, well, I think creativity is always more powerful than anxiety. Creativity is everyone's true nature. Just let yourself be and it will take over...  

When In Doubt, Scream "Eureka"!

Greatest challenge of my life till date: Remaining sane despite all the physics lectures of class IX I attended. I used to walk into my class each day, hoping that eventually I would figure out what language my teacher speaks in. No such luck. I even used to cry ridiculously about it as it wasn't like me to "be unable to understand something".

The worst part was that everyone else in my class acted perfectly normal about it. Was my I.Q. actually that low? Or maybe everyone in the world had been struck by a "high intelligence" apocalypse and somehow I had survived. How lucky of me.

 The possibilities were many, but it took all my confidence to figure out the correct one. It was that I was the only one curious enough to have doubts. Not very modest of me, is it? But that is what came to my mind when I first checked out Khan Academy on the internet (after literally exhausting all other possibilities). 

I began hunting down answers for each question that arose in my mind and ended up making physics my favorite subject. Not only that, I also realized that my understanding of physics had become better than that of most of the others'. 

 I write this now, after 2 years since today morning I discovered that I was having some similar troubles with class XI mathematics. After going all bonkers for two hours about it, it occurred to me that it might just be my same old ridiculous habit of questioning too much. Because after all this, there is one thing I'm completely sure of: there is no such thing as a high-intelligence apocalypse or a sudden I.Q. drop. If I'm feeling segregated, its because of something extra I have, not others. 

Silhouettes

I know in the back of my mind

That silhouettes are deceptive 

Yet, I choose to be naive 

And let them amuse me with their cunning beauty.

They have this element of mystery 

Which, once left to my imagination 

Can become anything but the obvious

And the outline, the half truth, is the only clue I have.

Light looks good, only behind them 

Because I don't want reality 

To snap me out of this dreamy trance 

Where the only tyrant is my temptation.

But somehow, in the end
It is always the luminous curiosity
That takes over my free will
And finally exposes my beloved silhouettes.

Having your Prime Minister to answer your questions

Even the sound of it gives an impetus to the morals of a regular student. Unfortunately, my school didn't go in for the live session.

Nevertheless, it was lovely watching Mr. Modi address us, in general, as students.

Some of his answers were extremely inspiring. One could make out how closely he had observed life. For instance, how he explained the importance of both experience and education in one's life. There were moments when I would get goosebumps so strong that I would begin to feel like a porcupine who had just had an adrenaline rush. It was as if he was giving voice to the thoughts that had always existed in me. Not a word he spoke seemed to be made up. 

On the contrary, to compensate for the extempore qualities of our P.M., most of the students had to look conspicuously artificial. I mean, its nice that you know how to cram but at least don't look so robotic. Except for a few good ones, all other students rather sounded annoying. Being a good orator for them is mugging up a few lines and bringing arbitrary variations in their voice. Honestly, had I been given the opportunity, I would have done way much better. I know it is a little bit of jealousy on my part too but jokes apart, some of our robots seriously need divine intervention.